Out-of-Body, Bizarro
Embracing the Vibrations
Me and my wife woke up at 3am, stayed awake for 10 minutes or so, then laid back down to meditate. This is normal for us every Wednesday morning.
I decided this time I would not leave my body, but instead just sit and watch my experience closely.
I tried watching my breathing, and lost consciousness a few times, then repositioned my body and settled in.
Eventually, I hit the vibrations.
Normally, I navigate towards the out of body (OBE) state of mind while experiencing vibrations. I try and get out, float around, and focus on gaining my vision.
This time, I just laid there, and watched the vibrations. I felt the whooshing over my non-physical body. I used to think the whooshing meant I was moving. I think that might be wrong… Instead, it seems like the whooshing is being directed at me, and I’m staying still. Like the difference between putting your hand out of a moving car, or putting your hand in front of a fan.
The vibrations are loud. I would almost describe them as painful, but not quite. They’re like standing in front of large speakers experiencing feedback.
I accepted them.
I felt my non-physical body being energized in a way. Sort of like when your hair stands up from static electricity.
The vibrations became more intense, and started to transform into a sort of bliss. I thought: great, I’ve given myself brain damage, and I’ll be a vegetable the rest of my life.
That’s the thing about this sort of stuff – it is really happening to you. And there is no instruction booklet. So there is a genuine sense of danger.
I don’t remember exactly what happened next, but there were a series of dreams or visions (?). This went on for what seemed like 30 minutes or more, and at one point I thought to myself: there is no way I’ll remember all of this.
As an example, one vision started with me in bed. I reached into my mouth and pulled out a handful of goop. I considered putting the goop on my night stand, so I could continue meditating, but thought I should probably go to the bathroom instead.
I got up and went to the bathroom to wash off.
Looking around, I realized I wasn’t in my bathroom – I was in a different bathroom. It was like a bizarro bathroom. The aesthetic was different. It reminded me of the culture shock you experience when visiting a foreign country. The subtle details are different from what you’re used to.
I looked around the bathroom, studying it. I looked at the faucet, the mirror, the shower, the layout. It was weird.
One reasonable interpretation was that this was a dream, or false awakening.
It didn’t feel like a dream. It felt real. Just as real as anything else.
How would you describe the difference between your waking experience and a dream?
Dreams have certain properties:
- Nonsensical implicit context – in a dream, I believe I’m packing a bag for school, completely forgetting that I haven’t been to school in 20 years.
- Abstract environment – the surrounding environment is just an idea in my head, not something visual I am experiencing directly; when I start to navigate the environment, it comes into focus from that abstract space.
- Fluid and easy to control – I can usually direct my dreams by manipulating my expectations.
- Fuzzy details – even when I choose to look at something closely, it changes out from underneath me, in weird ways; words change, people morph, spaces expand or contract.
The experiences I had last night do not have these properties. For example:
- The goop in my mouth was nonsensical, but that was explicit – I saw the goop and reacted to it – not implicit.
- The environment was as detailed as real life – the environment was well defined and not blurry on the edges.
- My expectations didn’t direct the experience – I thought the bathroom looked similar to my grandmother’s bathroom in layout, but that recognition didn’t cause it to become my grandmother’s bathroom.
- The details were in high definition, and solid.
I also experienced other things, but they were similar to the bathroom. There was some nonsensical explicit initiation, followed by a bizarro environment with high levels of detail.
I’m not sure what to make of it, it’s all really strange. I will try embracing the vibrations more often, and see what else happens.