Out-of-Body
Loving Entity
I have a habit of meditating when laying bored in bed in the middle of the night. Usually I end up falling asleep, but sometimes I get out of body or have strange experiences.
I was restless last night, and this morning at 3am, I settled down and started meditating.
I like to experiment with different ideas, and lately I’ve been experimenting with the idea of “surrender”.
When I was younger, I interpreted “surrender” to be submission to authority. I think this is because a lot of crappy authority figures would like nothing more than a bunch of disempowered followers (sending them money), so this is what I ran into a lot.
I think of “surrender” differently now.
I think about our dogs.
If I could just tell our dogs one thing, it would be that I’m not trying to be mean, I’m not trying to take away their autonomy, in fact, I love their autonomy and personalities. I’m simply trying to take care of them in ways that are impossible for them to understand.
I want you to eat your gross mushy food, because it’s actually a supplement that will help with your arthritis. I want you to stop eating things off the ground, because cat poop infested with parasites is not good for you. I want you to stop barking because you’re genuinely not in danger – I want you to enjoy life and be at peace.
But those things are too complex for a dog to understand.
So, ultimately, it’s in their best interest to trust me. I see a more complex world, and I’m on their side, trying to help them navigate it in a healthy way, while still respecting their autonomy.
This is how I think of “surrender” now.
I believe there are larger, smarter, more compassionate beings. I could be wrong, but that’s my best guess. And these super intelligent beings are looking out for us in ways we can’t comprehend.
And from our tiny human perspective, things don’t always make sense. But it’s best to trust that the universe is not cruel.
So this morning at 3am I meditated on this to pass the time.
To my surprise, I heard music.
I’ve heard music while meditating before. In the past, it was like a radio station, where I could tune into different songs from popular artists (Red Hot Chili Peppers, etc).
I thought this was like that, so I tried to tune my mental radio, and browse around.
The music didn’t respond like normal. I was hearing very calming and soothing music, that I’ve never heard before. After trying for a while, I was able to direct it slightly, but it was still very calming.
So I continued to surrender and relax.
It felt like I was being visited by a very loving and peaceful entity, and it was the one directing the music at me.
It started showering me in love and patience. It felt like I was in an ocean of love and patience in energy form, floating around.
I was still aware of my body, but my non-physical body was floating around too.
I enjoyed it. I wouldn’t describe it as bliss, more just peaceful and serene.
I thought to myself: “ok, when is this going to get weird and scary?” I’ve had a lot of strange out of body experiences, and I never know what I’m going to get, so even though the weird and scary experiences usually don’t bother me, I do expect and brace for them.
As the doubt entered my head, the entity blasted me with even more love and patience, until I let the thought go.
I tried passing some of the positive vibes to my wife who was in bed with me. At one point I leaned forward to listen to her (non-physically), and could hear her babbling in a language I didn’t understand.
The entity started talking to me.
It asked if I remembered being born and it cradling me.
I said I didn’t remember, but would like to.
The entity seemed very large with grandmotherly feelings. I wondered if it was my grandmother who had passed away, and said I missed her and loved her, but didn’t get a response.
I felt a hand on my back. This felt 100% physical, 100% real.
I waited and tried not to freak out.
Then I reached around with my non-physical arm, and touched the spot on my back.
The hand left, and it started drawing on my back with its finger.
It literally felt like someone was pressing their finger on my back and drawing symbols.
I tried to imagine what symbols they were drawing, but it didn’t mean anything to me.
Then they left, and I rolled over.
I wasn’t really expecting anything like that, it was a completely new experience for me. It reminded me a little bit of my first Bufo experience, where I perceived a motherly entity; however this experience didn’t have visuals (or drugs).
I feel really lucky to have experienced it!