Out-of-Body, Hyper-Real, Bufo
Jhanas Are Real And Fucking Weird
What the FUCK was that, LOL!
I meditated for around 40 minutes. It was a good meditation. Nothing amazing, but solid, good. I realized that Ajahn Brahm is my role model. I cried, surprisingly.
I laid down on the couch.
I meditated some more, but eventually rolled on my side. This is my meditate then sleep technique.
I was thinking about beliefs. I was thinking about how resistance to sensations lead to beliefs. And these beliefs lead to behaviors. And these behaviors lead to creation of circumstances. And these circumstances eventually shatter you, and force you to feel the sensation you originally turned away from.
And meditation is nothing special, it’s just more efficient. You can make peace with the sensation before it turns into a belief. And if you miss that opportunity, you can deal with the belief instead, and shatter it in your mind before it turns into behavior. And if you miss that opportunity, you can deal with your behvaior instead, when reality starts nudging you away from what you’re doing. And if you miss that, then reality has to shatter you instead.
Anyways. This is the kind stuff I think about sometimes when meditating.
It took a while, but I started getting the vibrations in my head.
I played with them. I focused on them, then didn’t. I had a false awakening that my wife got up and started making breakfast. I felt her play with my hair. I knew it wasn’t real. I pet our dog.
My arms disconnected from my body. I let them float around. My non-physical body twisted slightly.
I continued to just play. I couldn’t get fully out of body, so I just hung out.
I don’t even know how it started… I was seeing weird shit, but it was kind of in a half dreaming state, but I was more aware. Nothing crazy, just normal pre-dream stuff.
At some point I started to get… scared? Kind of mad? I don’t even know where the emotion came from. By all accounts, I was having fun. But suddenly I wasn’t, and I even said, sort of out loud: I need to go. I’m sorry, but I need to go. I shouldn’t be here, and it’s not working, and I need to go. I still don’t understand why I was saying that.
This energy stopped me. It wasn’t forceful. It was the same energy as the Bufo, but without the taste of the Bufo in my lungs. Without the smell of Bufo.
This energy took me one extra step.
Suddenly I was in this hyper-real… I don’t know how to describe it. There was a few singing voices, but it was very subdued. So I went with it. It was awesome, why not?
Like I said, this part of me that was resisting really didn’t feel like me. I don’t know where the resistance came from. Normally I jump right into weird shit and have fun. I’ve been having out of body experiences for decades, this is not my first rodeo.
Then I was off!
One weird hyper-real experience after the next, which lasted around 10 minutes maybe.
First I was playing with my hands. The resolution was amazing. The pliability of what I was seeing. My hands were there, but then I could distort them in cartoonish ways. This was not a dream. Not even close. This was like a high definition virtual reality.
I played with my hands for a while, but really, my entire reality was this hyper-real environment.
I’m not sure I remember everything.
At one point I was down the road. I wondered if I could fly, and flew up on to the rooftops, and into the clouds. I could feel the clouds, the moisture.
Another point I was in this landscape… it was plasticy. It was like a purple (?) field, though purple isn’t right. There was a large tree in the middle, and I was cycling around it, trying to see the sun behind it.
I was back on the roofs, I heard people in the house telling me to get off their roof. I jumped down and plummeted into the ground, and woke up, in a snap.
I have experienced glimpses of this hyper-real environment before, but not to this extent, and not linked with Bufo-like experiences.
I don’t know which jhana I reached, but I definitely clicked into something new. It was an amazing experience.